Wow! Well, hello! Just popping my head out of formatting and last minute touches on my PAPERBACKS for The Welsh Healer and El Rey to let you know that I’m still alive and to ask you to please bear with me while I catch up to 2013. Here’s a sneak preview, and while the color in this pic is not a true representation, you get the general idea. I am expecting my most recent set of proofs to arrive any day now, and I am hoping beyond hope that they will be perfect! Fingers crossed!
In the meantime, I am just going to repost this blog, previously run on Goodreads, to bide some time while I get my bearings. With any luck, this will be the last rehashing of old material, and I will soon be back on track with new and interesting posts. Thank you for being patient. Please enjoy!
My husband’s latest obsession is watching shows about hoarders. He sits on the couch and devours them, one after the other, like a child consuming a box of animal crackers. I can’t understand why, because his reaction at the end of every episode is always the same. “Why don’t they just back up a truck and shovel all of that garbage into it?” I try to explain to him that it’s not that easy. Some people have an emotional attachment to their possessions and cannot bear to part with them. He invariably answers that the show makes him feel like throwing EVERYTHING away. I know what he really means is everything … as long as it belongs to someone else.
One day last year I was watching one of those entertainment news programs (one of my guilty pleasures, but it’s okay because Sir Anthony Hopkins watches it too!) and I saw Lindsay Lohan wearing a Journey t-shirt. I have the exact shirt, only mine is an original, bought from a booth outside of the L.A. show of the Frontiers World Tour in 1983 with money earned from my job at the neighborhood Sizzler. It is in perfect condition, because it has spent the 28 1/2 years since then (am I really THAT old?) in a container in my closet. I was foolish enough to mention the LiLo sighting to my husband, and his response was, “Why don’t you try to sell your shirt on eBay? You could probably get a couple hundred dollars for it.” A couple hundred dollars. Would it really be worth it?
Of course what my loving, conveniently oblivious husband doesn’t realize is that the shirt is more than a mere t-shirt. It is a symbol of those long gone carefree days of youth before adult responsibilities became a factor in my life. Journey was the first band I ever saw in concert. I have every one of their albums up to Trial by Fire (remember when they used to press actual records out of vinyl?) The band had a lasting influence on my musical tastes and are partially responsible for my initial attraction to my husband (when I met him he had the most beautiful, long rock ‘n’ roll hair I’ve ever seen, and his voice bears an eerie similarity to Steve Perry’s at the height of Journey’s popularity!) How could a couple of hundred dollars ever compensate me for that?
The thing that amazes me even more is how he fails to make the connection between the tortured souls on the hoarding shows and his own refusal to throw anything away. He has a cabinet full of half-used paint cans, saws for every purpose, about thirty hammers, sets of metric, standard, allen, and torx wrenches, and modified tools for any situation. He is always saving ‘leftover’ nuts and bolts in old peanut butter jars and, in fact, often purchases new items to add to his ever expanding trove. Just last weekend he bought a set of disc brakes for a car he never drives. It is his prized possession, a ’72 Ford Bronco that has been sitting in our garage for 18 years. It looks like a life-sized Tonka truck, the kind of toy he professes to have been his favorite when he was a little boy … hmm … perhaps I’M missing something here.
Upon closer examination, what could it hurt to let him keep his newest treasure (an old cargo blanket he rescued from the side of the road) after all?
My observations:
Well, I must say that hubby busted his rear end and got those disc brakes installed far more quickly than I would have imagined. Then, after taking his toy out for a test drive, brought it home and parked it back in the garage again. In his defense, he worked very hard last year and rarely had time to go anywhere even if he had been so inclined.
On the other hand, he has added to his tool collection with found bungie cords, bolts, nuts, washers, etc! He justifies adding the expensive tools by ‘buying’ them with points from his travel clubs. (After all, if they are free, we can’t really afford NOT to get them!) He has recently asked for his 5-year anniversary bonus at work to be sent as a gift card for Home Depot, so he can buy yet more ‘free’ tools. He always says that he uses the tools to keep the house in good repair, but I have only ever seen him use a rechargeable battery-operated drill, a nail gun, and sundry screwdrivers and wrenches. He got a table-mounted mitre saw a few years back and promised to put crown molding up in the entire house. I am still waiting!




LMAO!!! The peanut butter jars full of nuts and bolts…what a great visual!!! Oh my, you have got to get him working on the crown molding because it would make all the tool harding worthwhile. : ) Isn’t it funny how he can’t seem to make the connection between his justified hoarding and the show? Just like my dad watching “Intervention” while trashed on wine, LOL. Glad you re-posted and for the record, I would have kept that Journey t-shirt too.
Hi, Steph! Yeah, I was actually going to go out to the garage and take a picture of his hardware collection and all of his new tools, but it’s too freakin’ cold out there! And again, in his defense, he did gut and rebuild an entire bathroom a little over a year ago. I think that’s part of what convinced him to ‘buy’ a step ladder/saw horse combo that folds flat. That tool is at least hanging on the wall of the garage, although still unused. Stay tuned for updates! I’m sure he’ll eventually do something even more entertaining. Although somewhat predictable, he never fails to please!
I love your mention of how you were initially attracted to your bubby.
After reading this piece, I feel I’ve known your bubby for years. But I don’t know his name and profession?
Best luch to your paperbacks!
Hi, Mao! Thanks for your encouragement with the books! If you have a fourth grader in your neighborhood, it could explain why this all sounds so familiar. I think everyone either knows a version of him or shares some of his traits. He can be maddening sometimes, but I wouldn’t trade him for the world! Cheers!
I am LOLing at your “tortured souls” bit! Adam is a hoarder, too and gets very defensive about it…he ALWAYS mentions my books if I say anything about his problem
Hi, Arleigh! I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t say anything anymore. I think I am building up an inventory of remarks for a giant trump card one day (basically verbal hoarding!) I think I’ll pull them out to bargain for a HUGE library when we settle into our penultimate resting place!
I must confess I’m a hoarder of tools and parts too; I think it’s just a guy thing. I never know when I might use that one-off part that fits a computer that hasn’t been manufactured for 12 years, but just try to pry it from my parts bin!
Hi, Morgan! How’s my favorite hero doing? I’m not so sure it’s a guy thing. At least, that particular trait has not been passed on to my sons. Then again, I used to joke that my youngest was my little girl. Now he’s 6’2″ with a basso profundo Barry White voice! But getting back to the hubby, I think that the phrase ‘prying it from the parts bin’ is extremely apt for this situation, considering that there are probably several half-tubes of loctite floating around the bottom of said bin. I’m just waiting for the day he puts together an evil robot. I will be sure to let you know about it, as you probably think it’s a great idea. I have a feeling that you two are on the same wave-length and could be dangerous for the rest of the planet should you ever get together!
Hmm, a homemade robot…I think I could write a short story about that!
I am certain that you could. In fact, you could probably turn it into a novel … or an anime series. Have you ever seen Big O? Right up the alley of my perpetually nine-year-old husband. Now that I’ve planted the seed, precautionary steps will have to be taken to prevent this potentially disastrous meeting of the minds!
The Big O was one of my favorite anime series from a few years ago! I never did finish watching it, even though it was only 13 episodes as I recall. I guess I should see if it’s available on the Roku…
Yeah, it might be a bad idea to put two adult children with diabolical tendencies together!
Oh, I’m sure the two of you would have a blast. It’s the rest of us I worry about! I have to say, though, that if the zombie apocalypse ever came to pass, we would certainly look you up and combine forces.